lady gaga has been cheating on everyone

breaking news out of america: pop sensation stefani germanotta “lady” gaga has been secretly cheating on everyone. when asked about it, gaga’s agent said, “well, you see, she’s on the road a lot, and i mean, look at all those male dancers she has on stage with her… but, yeah, the bitch cheated on me too.”

one college sophomore from poland noted, “i thought she was taking a ride on only my disco stick… man, was i wrong.”

even her female fans have been cheated on, as she is bisexual in perhaps the loosest meaning of the term. even a man known only has gentleman gaga has had his heart crushed.