a wild snorlax appeared. bj upton used rest. bj upton is alseep. snorlax ran away
or so I’ve been told.
In baseball every player can reasonably said to have a ceiling and floor. B.J. Upton’s floor is his awesome name “Bossman Junior,” the kind of name voters elect to the hall of fame just to see how it looks on a plaque. His ceiling is seemingly infinite. He’s already a gold glove centerfielder. The playoffs reminded everyone the power potential is there. He walks. Upton resembles an outfield Rickie Weeks, right down to the prodigy younger brother and the swag.
YET, B.J. hits terribly this year. HEY RJ, you’re probably right, the criticism of Upton is overblown. My expectations for that Times article, however, were low from the phrase: “his batting average has turned into gravity.” The bottom line is B.J. chooses his words poorly and needs to work on how he handles pitches outside the zone.
Being on the chrome banner is an honor that you are born into, not one you acheive. Still, BJ needs to pick it up. Price is starting to keep up his half of the bargain…wait…Reggie Willits single…crap…brb…
LASTINGS—>PIRATES
“Where personalities crash and chrome meets chrome” -U Don’t know by Jay-Z, Worst rapper alive.
I ask: Could a person as barely sentient as Jay-Z possibly have foreseen the prophesy in his own words?
Improbably.
…but here we stand, witnessing perhaps the CHROMEST trade of a generation, as Lastings Milledge has been swapped for Nyjer Morgan.
The attraction of Lastings to the Pirates is clear: he adds an impressive set of dreadlocks (and occasionally a small afro) to an outfield already featuring Andrew McCutchen. Nyjer’s range may have covered the outfield, but no hair covered his head. Lastings also figures to mentor the young centerfielder on his rhymes, for it was Milledge who penned the immortal verse:
King of the bling, come to lay down the evidence/Not George Bush, L-Millz be the President
Nyjer, however IS NOTHING TO SCOFF AT. He may be 29, but he is fast and wears stirrups on his socks. He can steal multiple bases at once. The Nationals, an organization always looking to downgrade for ironic effect, certainly did so here. Still, everyone knows fielding is the future of baseball and everything is chrome in the future and by the transitive property the Nationals still suck in the future.
Throw in the buy-low on captain BABIP, Hannrahan, and the Pirates seem to have gotten the CHROMER end of the deal.
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