fivestar and sevenstars movie script
(1:35:19 AM) [fleshlite syndicate]: (“Colonel Stringray Johnson” sevenstarx)
dchappelleshow3 (6:35:45 PM): shyt ma momma not pickin up da phone
SevenStar X (6:37:12 PM): niggerz hav unleashed an emp in da city
SevenStar X (6:37:18 PM): all communicationz hav been serverd
dchappelleshow3 (6:38:03 PM): lmfao
dchappelleshow3 (6:38:10 PM): mAyun
dchappelleshow3 (6:38:16 PM): dat shud b how a flashhhhhhhh goez
dchappelleshow3 (6:38:25 PM): niggerz release da emp
dchappelleshow3 (6:38:45 PM): all of los angeles has no communication except for gang signz
dchappelleshow3 (6:39:14 PM): and a young man has to learn da gangsta wayz to save LA
dchappelleshow3 (6:39:32 PM): othawise da bloodz are gonna executed da dodgers starting lineup
dchappelleshow3 (6:39:40 PM): and kershaw
dchappelleshow3 (6:39:58 PM): mayun kershaw has a gun to his head as we speak
dchappelleshow3 (6:40:22 PM): and thurr beatin da shit outta furcal and callin him wetback./ spic
dchappelleshow3 (6:42:00 PM): and den
dchappelleshow3 (6:42:07 PM): da onlay people
dchappelleshow3 (6:42:10 PM): who know da code
dchappelleshow3 (6:42:32 PM): to da goldmine underneath la
dchappelleshow3 (6:42:39 PM): are da dodgerz
dchappelleshow3 (6:42:44 PM): but they aren’t speakin
dchappelleshow3 (6:42:57 PM): they’re bein tortured…
(1:35:30 AM) [fleshlite syndicate]: (“Colonel Stringray Johnson” sevenstarx)
dchappelleshow3 (6:43:11 PM): they gotta watch re runs of tha bravez winnin da pennant
dchappelleshow3 (6:43:36 PM): da san francisco 49erz neva found da gold mine cuz it waz rly in LA
dchappelleshow3 (6:44:25 PM): but it just so happenz
dchappelleshow3 (6:44:32 PM): that rocco baldelli can help us out
dchappelleshow3 (6:44:45 PM): he’s an experienced sniper
dchappelleshow3 (6:44:52 PM): he’s a seasoned veteran, we shall say…
dchappelleshow3 (6:45:15 PM): and he is toting a barret 50cal with niggers names on da bullets
dchappelleshow3 (6:46:09 PM): we also have jerry sandusky drivin a tank with wayne brady at the helm of the gun
dchappelleshow3 (8:51:46 PM): mr peterson…
dchappelleshow3 (8:51:47 PM): yes?
dchappelleshow3 (8:51:58 PM): we have a hostage situation
dchappelleshow3 (8:52:04 PM): Who’s the hostage?
dchappelleshow3 (8:52:14 PM): Sir…
dchappelleshow3 (8:52:23 PM): Who is it god damnit?!?
dchappelleshow3 (8:52:26 PM): they have him
dchappelleshow3 (8:52:29 PM): WHO?
dchappelleshow3 (8:52:34 PM): Clayton…
dchappelleshow3 (8:52:40 PM): and the whole squad
dchappelleshow3 (8:52:46 PM): Oh my god
dchappelleshow3 (8:53:12 PM): Do we have hostage negotiators?
dchappelleshow3 (8:53:45 PM): Sir..;. we don’t negotiate with terroits… these ruthless nappy head hunters are the baddest of the bad… they are… the bloods
dchappelleshow3 (8:54:00 PM): Oh my gosh
(1:35:39 AM) [fleshlite syndicate]: (“childchode” dudestarzx) anyone want a shoutout
(1:35:42 AM) [fleshlite syndicate]: (“Colonel Stringray Johnson” sevenstarx)
dchappelleshow3 (8:54:45 PM): We are currently assembling a team to take down the terroists
dchappelleshow3 (8:55:06 PM): I have taken the liberty to contact elite members of the Crips Brotherhood of America
dchappelleshow3 (8:55:27 PM): They’re on our side, chief
dchappelleshow3 (8:56:26 PM): You will meet with Slim Locc at the crack of dawn tomorrow to scrape up a plan
dchappelleshow3 (8:56:31 PM): next day
dchappelleshow3 (8:56:40 PM): Hey, is this the Slim locc residence
dchappelleshow3 (8:56:52 PM): Halt, who goes there, stranger?
dchappelleshow3 (8:57:17 PM): I am detective Adrian Peterson of the Minnesota task force
dchappelleshow3 (8:57:35 PM): Yo wat u tryin to do, B
dchappelleshow3 (8:57:54 PM): I want what you want… I wanna take these bastards down
dchappelleshow3 (8:58:12 PM): YOU WANT WHAT I WANT?
dchappelleshow3 (8:58:36 PM): goddamnit you wanna know wat i want?!?
dchappelleshow3 (8:58:40 PM): I was fucking justice
dchappelleshow3 (8:58:50 PM): they killed ma nigga tookie
dchappelleshow3 (8:58:55 PM): *i want
dchappelleshow3 (8:59:26 PM): Tookie? He deserved what he got and he got justice all right
dchappelleshow3 (9:00:06 PM): WHAT THE FUCK DO U KNO ABOUT JUSTICE, UR JUST A SLAVE OF SOCIETY… UR JuST A SCOUNDREL TRYIN TO GET THE LEFTOVER SCRAPS AT A BUTCHER SHop
dchappelleshow3 (9:00:35 PM): UR THE LEFTOVER SESAME SEEDS THAT FELL OFF A HAMBURGER BUn
(1:35:54 AM) [fleshlite syndicate]: (“Colonel Stringray Johnson” sevenstarx)
dchappelleshow3 (9:01:03 PM): woh woh woh… i’m sorry about ur friend, but that doesn’t have anything to do with the situation
dchappelleshow3 (9:02:00 PM): mr peterson… have u ever lost a dear friend… a friend who really cared for you and would always give u the last popsicle in the box?… tookie was that friend for me… and i miss him
dchappelleshow3 (9:02:35 PM): i’m sorry for your loss, slim but if we work together we can take down the Bloods Terroist Organization
dchappelleshow3 (9:02:56 PM): R u ready to take them down?
dchappelleshow3 (9:03:06 PM): HELL YEAH LETZ GET STRAPPED, B
dchappelleshow3 (9:03:15 PM): meanwhile in compton…
dchappelleshow3 (9:04:15 PM): CLAYTON WAT”Z UP LIL FUCK FACE LIL PRETTY BOY R U THE GOLDEN BOY OF THE DODGERS U LIL SHITHEAD? LEMME PAINT A PICTURE FOR YOu… A LEFT HANDED PITCHER WITH A SPOON IN HIS ASS
dchappelleshow3 (9:04:44 PM): wat do u want for me? i’m just a left handed superstar pitcher who throws in the mid 90
dchappelleshow3 (9:04:46 PM): s
dchappelleshow3 (9:05:11 PM): you are gonna tell us how to get in the fujita gold mine
dchappelleshow3 (9:05:24 PM): wat r u talkin about i don’t kno about .. ?
dchappelleshow3 (9:05:45 PM): AHHHH GODDAMN NIGGER *puts hot cigarette on kershaw’s forehead
dchappelleshow3 (9:06:15 PM): YOU SON OF A BITCH I”M GONNA THROW A FOUR SEEM RIGHT THROUGH UR DOME
dchappelleshow3 (9:07:10 PM): AHA ur makin threats?… well it looks like that masking tape around ur wrists is holdin u up in a jam
dchappelleshow3 (9:08:01 PM): we can either kill u and ur gold glove shortstop… or u will give us access to da mine
dchappelleshow3 (9:08:48 PM): meanwhile
dchappelleshow3 (9:08:58 PM): HEY HOW U LIKE IT SPIC
dchappelleshow3 (9:09:10 PM): HOW TO LIKE GETTIN SPRAYED WIT WATER, WETBACK HAHAHA
dchappelleshow3 (9:09:20 PM): HOW U LIKE MA SUPERSOAKER XL 2000 BEYOCH
dchappelleshow3 (9:10:08 PM): come on guys i’m just an honest man tryin to make a livin… all i want is to be famous and make a seven figure salary to play my favorite game
dchappelleshow3 (9:10:49 PM): AHAA Ur Nothin compared to cal ripkin
dchappelleshow3 (9:11:19 PM): den while diz is goin on
(1:35:58 AM) loogie a 707: lmfao
(1:36:04 AM) [fleshlite syndicate]: (“Colonel Stringray Johnson” sevenstarx)
dchappelleshow3 (9:11:41 PM): brett favre is throwin grenades at the super elite gangster fortress
dchappelleshow3 (9:12:27 PM): jamarcus russell is out there shootin tek 9s until he fumbles his guns and ammunition n gets shot thru da heart
dchappelleshow3 (9:13:51 PM): jamarcus sez to jerry sandusky… they took ma heart jerr, dey took ma heart
dchappelleshow3 (9:14:02 PM): and jerry whispers… i will remember you
dchappelleshow3 (9:14:29 PM): an den an angel falls frum da sky and starts singin “I willllllll remember you….. will you remember meeee don’t let ur love pass u by…. “
dchappelleshow3 (9:14:37 PM): an den jamarcus passes away
dchappelleshow3 (9:15:50 PM): den jerry sandusky picks up an ak-47 and shoots 10 niggers that are tryin to snipe but keep missin cuz they’re holdin da sniper sideways
dchappelleshow3 (9:16:59 PM): mr peterson… i need you to put this c4 on da door and blast it open
dchappelleshow3 (9:17:44 PM): adrian takez da c4 in his bicep and is runnin to da doo,r jukin bullets and doin spin moves around land mines
dchappelleshow3 (9:18:32 PM): an den da blood witches summon da nfc championship ghost
dchappelleshow3 (9:19:01 PM): and da ghost whispers in adrian’s ear… “chicken livers” and he fumbles the c4
dchappelleshow3 (9:20:02 PM): den he picks up n dropz it again
dchappelleshow3 (9:20:13 PM): he finally getz it and pastes it on da door
dchappelleshow3 (9:20:22 PM): he’z liEk I GOT IT!
dchappelleshow3 (9:20:29 PM): and when’z he turnz away
dchappelleshow3 (9:21:09 PM): dan Marino sez U GOTTA TAKE THE CHILD SECURITY LOCK OFF FIRST
dchappelleshow3 (9:21:28 PM): and den h’ez liek shyt woopsiez and setz it up n it explodez
dchappelleshow3 (9:21:54 PM): da squad runz n da fortress with gunz a blazin shootin every nigger in the red dot sight
dchappelleshow3 (9:22:24 PM): but before dey get too far…
(1:36:15 AM) [fleshlite syndicate]: (“Colonel Stringray Johnson” sevenstarx)
dchappelleshow3 (9:22:43 PM): jesse jackson is waiting for them with a gun turret and shootz dat front line of da squad
dchappelleshow3 (9:23:17 PM): jesse jackson thinkz he has dem all…
dchappelleshow3 (9:24:02 PM): an den jackie chan does 3 flipz and a cartwheel and puts a throwin knife in jesse’s throat
dchappelleshow3 (9:24:43 PM): da squad killz a bunch of niggerz in gun fightz and they are outside of the gangster bat cave
dchappelleshow3 (9:24:49 PM): about to break in
dchappelleshow3 (9:25:02 PM): when all of da sudden
dchappelleshow3 (9:25:16 PM): clayton ripz his armz free from da masking tape
dchappelleshow3 (9:25:28 PM): and he triez to run away
dchappelleshow3 (9:25:40 PM): an den
dchappelleshow3 (9:25:45 PM): da squad breaks thru
dchappelleshow3 (9:25:55 PM): and da leader of da bloods…….
dchappelleshow3 (9:26:26 PM): Paul Pierce
dchappelleshow3 (9:26:45 PM): puts a gun to the head of Shawn Kemp
dchappelleshow3 (9:27:06 PM): and everybody’z liek
dchappelleshow3 (9:28:03 PM): WOH SHAWN KEMP?!? The nba superstar who led the Sonics to outstanding regular season records but could never defeat the mighty chicago bulls led by michael jordan, scottie pippen, dennis rodman, and tony kukoc?!?
dchappelleshow3 (9:28:23 PM): anybody but him leave that poor boy alone
(1:36:21 AM) [fleshlite syndicate]: (“uffie of course” charlotzx) god damn it all!! FUCK
(1:36:25 AM) [fleshlite syndicate]: (“Colonel Stringray Johnson” sevenstarx)
dchappelleshow3 (9:28:59 PM): Paul Pierce- Do you know how fucking good a shooter i am inside the paint? i won’t miss from this close
dchappelleshow3 (9:29:54 PM): Gives us mr kemp this is the end of the road ear pierce hyuck hyuck hyuck
dchappelleshow3 (9:30:34 PM): Very funny Bob Turk, the news channel 13 weather man for the baltimore urban and metropolitan area
dchappelleshow3 (9:31:14 PM): This gun is loaded with a full metal jacket, you see… and that will penetrate the useless brain of mr kemp and then, some
dchappelleshow3 (9:31:26 PM): but for now i shall make my departure TA TAH
dchappelleshow3 (9:31:36 PM): NOOOOOOOO YOU FUCKING NIGGER GET BACK HERE SHITHEAD!
dchappelleshow3 (9:31:54 PM): ‘and paul tries to get away he makez a run for it and shawn getz away
dchappelleshow3 (9:33:04 PM): and den the favorite pet monkey of the bloods throws a banana peel on the floor and paul slipz on it and den getz shot with 72 roundz from assault rifles, and is also blown to bits with mortars and grenades
dchappelleshow3 (9:33:20 PM): the end
\
dchappelleshow3 (9:37:18 PM): there is also a scene where the bloods are playin russian roulette with Jesse Orosco and David Ortiz
eli porter lyrics REPOST
I got one question, man: tell me who’s next! This nigga salt-looking nigga who be getting the best.
-pause-
I’m the best man; I did it.
See, I let you know I’m the best, by the hour. It’s like Rosie O’Donnell at a bisexual bridal shower.
It ain’t nothing to me man. I keep it for real. Look at these gleams, man, with dent on the grill.
See, I’m the best. I Told you that! This dude like that: he running from the cat.
No, I messed up, but I’m going to stay on top. They told me, man, but you know, I’m never going to flop.
Look at this dude, he need to stay in the shade. Ain’t no wonder why he came out – he’s already in the gay parade!
I told you man: I got you roasted like ever. You don’t know, but my rhymes – they straight up clever.
So you step off the pedestal. I’m the best man, you need to go the fucking dental.
i said freakin
ARMANDO GALARRAGA PERFECT GAME
HE’S PERFECT
eli porter’s revenge
when is it? 2010? 2012? 2014 super bowl new york?
lady gaga has been cheating on everyone
breaking news out of america: pop sensation stefani germanotta “lady” gaga has been secretly cheating on everyone. when asked about it, gaga’s agent said, “well, you see, she’s on the road a lot, and i mean, look at all those male dancers she has on stage with her… but, yeah, the bitch cheated on me too.”
one college sophomore from poland noted, “i thought she was taking a ride on only my disco stick… man, was i wrong.”
even her female fans have been cheated on, as she is bisexual in perhaps the loosest meaning of the term. even a man known only has gentleman gaga has had his heart crushed.
EVERYTHING IS CHROME DECADE IN REVIEW
2010 is here somehow so that means we all have a clean masturbation slate.
anyway it’s time to review the past ten years:
2000 – who let the dogs out, y2k, what else is there to say? I can’t really remember what happened here very well, i mean i was a 4th and 5th grader. well, the year started off with what remains one of my most crushing childhood defeats: the titans lost the super bowl, and thus began my modern expectations of disappointment. for america, this year was all about double dare 2000.
2001 – not a whole lot happened until about 9 months into it. i can barely remember anything except the last three months of this year. i was very pissed at my grade school seeing as that they did a damned good job of hiding 9/11 from us, and this was back before internet 2.0 so none of us knew about it until we got home. they hid that from us for 5 hours… anyway, the yankees somehow fucked up the world series and then not much else happened. oh wait, george harrison smoked his ass to death. that was kinda lame but predictable.
2002 – george lucas did his best to try to save the world from star wars episode 1, but the result wasn’t that much better except for the eye candy. also barry bonds started publicly sucking dick for cocaine at about this point. also, 7th grade started. that really sucked.
2003 – saddam hussein would have a much better time if he had just like, you know, not been so dumb or something. i don’t know, 8th grade didnt suck so bad but wasnt really memorable. these years are starting to blur together. i think this is when the black eyed peas started being popular or something.
2004 – if there ever was a forgettable year, this was it. oh wait, so was 2005 and 2006.
Somewhere in 2005, youtube hit the internet and officially murdered what is now known as internet 1.0. now no one has to get on kazaa to watch star wars kid. later, this website would essentially monopolize the internet putting such faggotry as ebaumsworld out of business. unfortunately, 4chan would soon fill the necessary faggotry void and doesn’t seem to be letting go of it any time soon.
star wars episode 3 almost redeemed george lucas. almost. wait no it didnt.
2007 – i went to japan for a month and experienced the biggest reverse culture shock ever known to man. when i came back in late july, i passed out for a week because of the reverse jet lag. when i awoke, suddenly soulja boy was popular and everyone was doing the gayest dance since the macarena, electric slide, casper slide whatever the fuck. i lost a lot of faith in americans when this happened. i nominate soulja boy for biggest talentless fucker of the decade.
2008 – this year was pretty rad. i started college which was pretty cool and had a lot of fun drinking while playing left 4 dead. barack obama decided to be a party pooper with his blank rhetoric and well the economy kind of took a shit too. yeah blagojevich and bernie madoff were kind of gay too. gay gay gay gay gay GAY GAY GAY gay.
2009 – damn this year is already over… well, i saw the flaming lips spew out more confetti than the stock market in 1929. over the summer i got a job in minor league baseball, and well i can say that i’m not going to do that again.
YEAH SO as it seems, the 2000s were kind of stupid after all and really lame, but never has it been more tasteful to make hurricane katrina jokes.
EVERYTHING IS CHROME’S PERSON OF THE YEAR:
eli porter
sometime in the mid 2000s, eli porter participated in the iron mic II challenge. he lost to envy in a controversial 2-1 decision, but hip hop has never been the same since the recorded video hit the youtubes.
it’s time to chrome: the gerst haus kinda sucks
i figure i should actually start using this chrome website more considering it gets about 100 views a week of people googling for eli porter lyrics. so here we go, more chrome for you. also some of you people need to stop talking.
every once in a while there comes a time in a little white boys life where he;s like “why am i so white.” notice that wasn’t a question.
if i remember from the fourth grade ancestry project, i’m some weird kind of blend of german, british, french and either irish or italian i can’t remember the flag’s colors.
so today i decided to try the gerst house german booze hall near lp field. yeah so it was horrendously understaffed on what a tuesday night????? how am i supposed to get my german food on if i have to wait when there are empty tables out?
so i order the most german looking thing on the menu, the schwine schnitzel, and it was pretty bland tasting. maybe i’d have to be chugging on some grog to truly appreciate, because that’s pretty much all it tasted like: bar food.
the applesauce is clearly mott’s applesauce from the grocery. it’s kind of sad when the spaetzle or rye bread is the most flavorful thing on the menu. SO TO MAKE A LONG STORY SHORT: where are some other german restaurants in this town????
where’s the chrome
where’d all the chrome go
vince young jizzes on matt leinart
vince young takes it to the house arizona cardinals 99 yard drive ninety nine yard drive matt leinart tim hightower chris johnson wendy’s 10 piece chicken nuggets everything is chrome barack obama congratulates vince young george w bush congratulates vince young bill clinton congratulates vince young 2006 rose bowl brett favre shakes vince young’s hand eddie george gives chris johnson key to the city george plaster 104.5 the zone talks about vince young twitter chrisjohnson28 we in huston we goin out cha
chrome is a huge fuck you
that chrome guy is a huge fuck you
THE FLAMING LIPS EMBRYONIC NEW ALBUM TORRENT 2009 THEPIRATEBAY
http://thejasonbay.org/t0rrent/42069/Teh_Falming_Rips-Embryoinc-2DVD-2OO9-SiRE
FUCK kemp
the original name for this website was supposed to be fuck kemp, but fuckkemp.com was taken.
now that the dodgers are in the playoffs, how appropriate is it to reveal this??
barack obama wins the nobel prize for masturbation
OSLO -
alfred nobel’s great grandson was present in sweden today to present US president barack obama with the world’s highest honor for self stimulation – the nobel prize in masturbation. many critics argue that barack obama cannot deserve such an honor since he simply does not have enough time to jack it. “i think that any college’s role playing club is more qualified than the president,” said former US ambassador of porn Ronald Jeremiah.
news is expected to worsen as tomorrow the nobel estate will announce the winner of the nobel prize in awkwardness.
the beatles JEW conspiracy
the following is proof that the beatles are conspiring to promote judaism.
love me JEW
ps i love JEW
baby it’s JEW
do JEW want to know a secret
twist and KRAUT
all i’ve got to JEW
hold me KIKE
JEW really got a hold on me
money (that’s what i want)
a hard day’s KIKE
i’m happy just to dance with JEW
JEW can’t do that
i’ll be BLACK
i’m a JEWSER
baby’s in BLACK
mr JEWLIGHT
eight days a week EXCEPT ON SATURDAY
what JEW are doing
help!
JEW got to hide JEW love away
i need JEW
JEW like me too much
tell me what JEW see
JEW won’t see me
think for JEWself
i’m looking through JEW
run for JEW life
love JEW too
yellow submaJEW
i want to tell JEW
got to get JEW into my life
tomorrow never JEWs
JEW in the sky with diamonds
within JEW without JEW
back in the JEW SS R
why dont we JEW it int he road
JEWlia
helter skelter
JEW of us
across the JEWniverse
i want JEW (shes so jewish)
here comes the JEW
JEW never give me JEW money
her majesty
and of course hey jude
this is proof that yoko ono loves israelis
Mr. Beer home brew kit
ladies in gentlemen, in the year 2009, mankind’s greatest engineering feat must certainly be the mr beer home brewery. now man is able to brew beer in one’s own dorm room.
why, just the knowledge of the mr beer itself has sufficiently distracted me from my japanese homework. will i shell out the 35-40 dollars in order to acquire this monumental human achievement? i’m not sure. will i have the guts to take such a thing home? i have no idea. everything is chrome will keep you posted on the mr beer situation.
note: not to be confused with the milwaukee brewers mascot, mr bernard “bernie” brewer.
ted kennedy dies, finalizes lineup of dead kennedys reunion
america – jello biafra has announced that the dead kennedys will be touring the underworld with john on guitar, bobby on drums and ted on bass. no word on whether pol pot will be in attendance.
david axelrod – professional spammer
a lot of news (er, well… maybe not that much news) has been made of many random joes receiving an email from america’s hero, david axelrod. now, i can’t exactly remember what job david axelrod even has, but i too have received his emails. however, i know exactly how i was placed on the white house’s mailing list. A few months ago, i decided to send some sarcastic comments to speaker.gov, and for some reason i put my real email on that list.
Robert gibbs, in true gibbsian fashion, insists that the emails nor a secret government mailing list do not exist. if that’s true, then why do all of the white house emails say
Please do not reply to this email. Contact the White House
If people would simply pay attention to the david axelrod emails, one can easily deduce that the white house has officially entered the spamming business. this must be how they’re raising money… don’t be surprised if the white house will soon be sending ads for viagra, cialis and all of your other favorites.
NOTICE just the beginning:
subj:
Something worth forwarding
David Axelrod, The White House
to me
Dear Friend,This is probably one of the longest emails I’ve ever sent, but it could be the most important.
taking a page out of the mccain files, david axelrod has assured me that i am not alone in the world 
. however, the first sentence truly marks the beginning of a spam letter. is it really the most important?
Across the country we are seeing vigorous debate about health insurance reform. Unfortunately, some of the old tactics we know so well are back — even the viral emails that fly unchecked and under the radar, spreading all sorts of lies and distortions.
taking a page out of the obama files, mr axelrod has said one thing and done the exact opposite. the only thing he doesn’t say is “let me make myself clear.” while david axelrod’s letter doesn’t exactly spread lies and distortions, it is certainly pretty viral – viral enough to have national headlines including on this news site you’re reading at this moment.
Dear Friend,
This is probably one of the longest emails I’ve ever sent, but it could be the most important.
Across the country we are seeing vigorous debate about health insurance reform. Unfortunately, some of the old tactics we know so well are back — even the viral emails that fly unchecked and under the radar, spreading all sorts of lies and distortions.
As President Obama said at the town hall in New Hampshire, “where we do disagree, let’s disagree over things that are real, not these wild misrepresentations that bear no resemblance to anything that’s actually been proposed.”
So let’s start a chain email of our own. At the end of my email, you’ll find a lot of information about health insurance reform, distilled into 8 ways reform provides security and stability to those with or without coverage, 8 common myths about reform and 8 reasons we need health insurance reform now.
Now, i’m not sure what to think of that first paragraph. when was the last time you ever trusted anything out of new hampshire? BUT the second paragraph is a blatant admission to becoming one step closer to sending penis and breast enlargement advertisements. while i’m sure washington would love everyone to be packing 5 dollar footlongs and d cups, i’m not so sure as to why they insist disguising it as something serious.
david axelrod surely wishes to be as prominent as fellow chain email starters such as whoever those guys are that post youtube comments. who can deny such classics as
CHECK out my new song HATERS on my page.
NOW here’s another kicker:
Right now, someone you know probably has a question about reform that could be answered by what’s below. So what are you waiting for? Forward this email.
Thanks,
DavidDavid Axelrod
Senior Adviser to the President
so what are you waiting for? flood inboxes!! it gets more strange, however:
P.S. We launched www.WhiteHouse.gov/realitycheck this week to knock down the rumors and lies that are floating around the internet. You can find the information below, and much more, there. For example, we’ve just added a video of Nancy-Ann DeParle from our Health Reform Office tackling a viral email head on. Check it out:
not only did david axelrod pull off a PS in an email, he also mentioned this incredibly sketchy web page on whitehouse.gov. it is some page full of eight or so different white house talking heads whose true purpose in life is still unknown at this point in time.
now that mr axelrod is spammer in chief, maybe he’ll plug this website in his postscripts!!
ELI PORTER LYRICS – iron mic 2, the transcript
I got one question, man: tell me who’s next! This nigga salt-looking nigga who be getting the best.
-pause-
I’m the best man; I did it.
See, I let you know I’m the best, by the hour. It’s like Rosie O’Donnell at a bisexual bridal shower.
It ain’t nothing to me man. I keep it for real. Look at these gleams, man, with dent on the grill.
See, I’m the best. I Told you that! This dude like that: he running from the cat.
No, I messed up, but I’m going to stay on top. They told me, man, but you know, I’m never going to flop.
Look at this dude, he need to stay in the shade. Ain’t no wonder why he came out – he’s already in the gay parade!
I told you man: I got you roasted like ever. You don’t know, but my rhymes – they straight up clever.
So you step off the pedestal. I’m the best man, you need to go the fucking dental.
food faux pas – chefs gone wrong
IN THE WORLD OF FOOD there are the pros and there are the bros.
in an op:ed edition of everything is chrome, i present to you ways to anger me via culinary crap.
ONE – onion abuse
the onion is america’s #1 news source, and onion rings are ok, but too many people commit onion abuse by throwing onions in every such thing such as chili, soup, ice cream, donuts and sushi. no one likes onions!!! onions are like the bastard vegetable.
TWO – ketchup abuse
ketchup should be used on hash browns and french fries. anything else is childish beyond the age of 10. go to any real hot dog joint and they will NOT SERVE KETCHUP. FUCK YOU. ketchup overpowers the delicate spices of the meats.
THREE – ranch dressing
some claim ranch dressing can go on anything. this is proof that it sucks. don’t be a hannon; don’t use ranch dressing.
Sam
starberryzx
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